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Entries by tag: trolling

Ingress player cartoons
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So i like to do this thing where i draw what i think people are like based on their screen names. (One of the many reasons i’m not interested in Facebook or Google’s fascist insistence that we all use our real names online. If you’re reading this, Facebook or Google, lick my butt.)

At the B.S. of Comics today, i scribbled some of the local Ingress players. I’ve actually met a few of them, but i used my mental impressions, not my eyeball impressions, so there’s zero resemblance. (Especially the animals. I refuse to believe anyone can blow up that many of my portals with paws or feathers.)

drawing of a local Ingress player drawing of a local Ingress playerRead the rest of this entry »Collapse )

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

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photo: my pit bull hanzo with an emoticon superimposed over his dumb face

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

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photo: me with lemon pie all on my face (the pie started it)

The pie started it.


Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

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So last Saturday, Seamus and i visited an abandoned zoo. It was spooky.

illustration: me and Seamus about to go in a haunted zoo

Never go to an abandoned anything with me, because i have two life philosophies that, when combined, create almost certain death:

1. When faced with a decision, choose the option that makes a better story later

2. Nothing in horror movies is ever real so you should definitely check out that mysterious noise

illustration: me and Seamus in the haunted zoo

The inside of the monkey house was disappointing at first… until the proverbial mysterious noise. Seamus looked up, but it was too late–it had already spotted us, and it leapt down and bit each of us right on the ass. This isn’t the first time a pissed off animal has bit me in the ass, and it won’t be the last. But this time, something was different.

We ran back to the car and checked our wounds. They were gone. I mean, the holes were still there in our jeans (i really can’t afford a new pair and super-pissed about it) but our skin was flawless, like it had never happened.

After he put me in a headlock and wrestled me into the child safety seat that i ride in because i’m so short, we went home, ate salted caramel gelato, and marathoned Community until we fell asleep. When we woke up, we didn’t speak about the monkey attack because what would we say?

By Wednesday it was clear, though. It wasn’t a ghost monkey. It was a were-monkey. Because Seamus and i both went and did this, even though we’re heinously out of shape and terrified of heights.

photo: Seamus climbing a fake rock wall

photo: Seamus climbing a fake rock wall again

photo: me climbing a fake rock wall, dressed like a banana

Definitely were-monkeys.

Oh and also, so is our friend John, so now we have something in common with him besides being really good-looking and charming and smelling good.

photo: my friend John Poor climbing a fake rock wall

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

The Towel Game
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Keffy and I are sharing a hotel room at Cascade Writers.

tweets from a silly "towel war" between Keffy and Itweets from a silly "towel war" between Keffy and Itweets from a silly "towel war" between Keffy and I   _tweets from a silly "towel war" between Keffy and I

(…Calm down, it’s Mountain Dew. And I washed it out by hand so the staff wouldn’t have to wonder, either.)

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

Two things! Clarion West Write-a-thon (and butt bees)
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advertisement for Clarion West write-a-thon

1. The Clarion West and Clarion UCSD! Write-a-Thons are  fundraisers for these two non-profit organizations. This year, I’m doing something crazy for the workshop I attended, which is Clarion West in Seattle. From my Write-a-thon page:

When you make a donation of $5, e-mail me at “promptly@coryskerry.net” with one word you’d like me to include. When you make a donation of $10, e-mail me with two words you’d like me to include. $15 = three words, etc. You get the idea. The more money you spend on the future education of talented speculative fiction writers, the more of an impact you’ll have on the outcome of this story.

Regarding the words and how I use them: Bizarre vulgarity is okay, but proper names/places won’t work for me. I may use the meaning of the word rather than physically type the word into the text. (I also reserve the right to split this into two stories if I get a LOT of donations or if the suggestions seem better suited to a division of my attention.)

The story will be made available to donors when I finish. I can’t guarantee I’ll be done at the end of the Write-a-thon (my summer is already pretty intense) but I’ll save your addresses and e-mail the final version after my critique group helps me polish it. :)

I think I’m going to keep the words secret until the end, so you won’t know what other people are choosing when you choose your words. This is going to be exceedingly difficult, but with great effort and sweat and blood and tears comes great… Okay, I don’t know where I was going with that. Basically this will rock.

If you don’t have $5 to spare, or you want to give it to a different charity, I understand, but that just means I’m going to demand you also take part in the Write-a-thon. No, seriously… in the next six weeks, do you plan on doing any of the following:

  • blogging
  • sending postcards/letters to loved ones or pen pals
  • reviewing of books or movies
  • scribbling private thoughts in your diary
  • collaborating on fanfic or story-form RPGs with your friends
  • writing non-fiction essays for school/work
  • writing poetry
  • writing film, television, or comic scripts
  • writing short stories (or flash, or novelettes, or novellas…)
  • writing novels
  • revising/editing/polishing the above works

Those words can all count for the Write-a-thon. As long as you are using the written word to communicate thoughts or narrative, all you have to do to help a non-profit writing organization collect donations is sign up and dedicate those words you were already going to write. The Write-a-thon starts Sunday, June 23rd! 

2. This is entirely unrelated, but I don’t want to give it an entire post because if I did, I’d be one of those guys that writes whole posts about his dreams. Those guys often wear pants that show their ankles and talk about how they used to be a tiger or a hawk in a past life. (Funny how they were never a millipede or a naked mole rat.) Anyway:

Does anyone do dream interpretations? Because I have had two dreams this week in which some bees made a nest in my butt crack. TWO!! I am not even kidding. I just hope this isn’t a prophetic dream, or if it is, that it’s seriously metaphorical.

me as a bee realtor (photomanipulation)

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

Metal For Two Weeks
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fingers are broken but plunderpuss is still metal

Two of my fingers are probably broken. I don’t know for sure because this third-world hellhole I live in doesn’t apply my taxes toward basic needs like GETTING MY BROKEN HAND X-RAYED but anyway, I know what you’re going to ask next. Go ahead, ask it. I’m going to lie, though. And also probably not correct my typos because i don’t have time for thqt crap.

I am too busy being metal. (Pretty sure rocking out with broken bones is approved by the council.)



ETA: the two weeks was until I could afford to buy real corporate-manufactured splints from The Man, which is decidedly not metal, but will continue for the rest of the six-week suggested healing time.

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

Big-Tittied Chainmail Lady (surprisingly, NSFW!)
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For those of you who don’t know what the SFWA Bulletin is, it’s a newsletter for members of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. We’ve had to work pretty hard over the years to have our work taken seriously, since many people are still dismissive of “spaceships and unicorns.” SFWA is a bit like a writers union, or a trade guild, or some other professional organization that you expect not to use an anatomically incorrect pinup on the cover of their professional publication.

I got this in my mailbox yesterday morning.Read the rest of this entry »Collapse )

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

You Look Like an Artist
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If it doesn’t play, click here. For legal purposes, I insist this didn’t actually happen. All characters are entirely fictional and so are the things they say. And the fact that they’re furries, which definitely is not how it happened. I mean, didn’t happen.

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

How to Be a Famous Author
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comic about how to be a famous author, drawn by Puss in Boots

(This comic brought to you by a snark festival about writers-who-don't-write that Keffy and I had a few months ago.*)

Yes, ha ha, but also:

It takes hard work to translate an ethereal dream from inside your head into a set of sharp-edged, black-and-white characters outside of your head. It’s even more difficult to array the spell in a way that will magically evoke the same original dream inside someone else’s head, merely by looking at what you’ve done.

The work doesn’t get any easier if you don’t get much practice or procrastinate on finishing it. All that will happen is you’ll suddenly realize it took you ten years to draw a map, some character profiles, and revise the first three chapters seventeen times. You need to write forward, not back-and-forth. There’s a reason you take a train to visit another city instead of a playground swing.

Go. Write a spell that gives at least one reader a kick-ass dream inside their head.

Originally published at Calamity Cove. You can comment here or there.

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